Are you feeling uncertain about continuing your relationship? Considering separation or divorce? Unsure of how to move forward? Not sure that couples therapy is the best option right now?
At MFS, we understand that for some couples, working on their relationship in couples therapy may not be the best treatment approach if one or both partners are leaning out of the relationship. This can lead to a sense of frustration and "stuckness" for all parties involved. The good news is that we offer an evidence-based approach for couples in this position. It's called Discernment Counseling.
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment counseling is a short-term, structured approach designed for couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship. The goal of discernment counseling is to help both partners gain clarity and confidence about the best path forward—whether that's working to repair the relationship in couples therapy or moving toward separation/divorce with greater understanding and respect. Unlike couples therapy, discernment counseling does not actively focus on working on relationship concerns or gaining relationship skills. It focuses on helping each partner better understand their role in their relationship distress and to consider the impact of various pathways. This helps both parties make an informed decision about the future of their relationship.
Who Is It For?
Discernment counseling is not traditional couples therapy. It's specifically for couples where at least one partner is "leaning out" of the relationship.
This approach is ideal for couples who:
- Are on the brink of separation but not yet sure if that's the right decision
- Feel stuck or disconnected and unsure whether the relationship can be improved
- Want help having constructive conversations about the future
- Need space and support to explore options before making long-term decisions
What to Expect
Discernment counseling is brief, usually 1 to 6 sessions. Each session is structured to:
- Clarify what each partner is thinking and feeling about the relationship
- Explore each person's contributions to the problems
- Understand what a future path of reconciliation might involve
- Decide whether to commit to couples therapy, separation, or continue holding off on a decision
Each session will include time together as a couple and time individually with the therapist. Discernment sessions typically last 90 minutes. The goal is not to solve relationship problems, but to help both people decide whether they want to try.
A Judgment-Free Zone
Discernment counseling creates a safe, non-judgmental space for honest reflection. It supports both partners equally and honors the complexity of making such a significant decision.
Whether you ultimately choose to separate or stay and work on your relationship, discernment counseling can help you move forward with greater clarity, confidence, and compassion.
